Happier Habits
Programme
Mattering more in your own midlife
Week Three -
Intention
Hello and welcome to Week Three of your Happier Habits programme!
Below is a short video to explain this week's theme, the download for the PlaySheet and the guidance for this week. Any questions just get in touch on the WhatsApp group or by email. Cheers!
“With every experience, you alone are painting your own canvas, thought by thought, choice by choice.”
Oprah Winfrey
Week 3 -Intention
Living by design, not on default
We can dream all the dreams, plan all the plans, colour code all the goals we want, but if we don’t actively and intentionally live the life we want day by day, the life we want will always remain a distant dream, a plan, or a goal. Often though, we blindly roll out of bed and fall into the same old habits and ways of doing things without ever stopping to question if they serve us.
How often do you wake up and wish you could take a breath, and wade through the mayhem a little differently? Living with intention is the difference between living in default mode (with Primal Pam mostly running the show) and living life by design. It’s the difference between constantly reacting to external demands and expectations and responding to your internal needs and desires.
Intention is where you set the tone, where you get to choose between reacting (survival) and responding (thrival). In default mode, you are led by your primal brain, outdated survival modes, unconscious reactions. You think your are conscious.... you are having thoughts and taking actions, but Primal Pam is at the controls and she’s not great at map reading.
With intention, you live by your values, towards your goals and the way you want your life to feel, you get to choose and respond in a way that ultimately is in your best interest. You get to fly the plane using your own GPS, therefore constantly course correcting, adapting the route, deciding new ways to behave that bring about what you need and want in life.
Setting intentions
We think the goal in life is to be happy 100% of the time. If we aren’t then there’s something wrong, or we have somehow failed. But the goal in life is to be able to survive and thrive through a wide range of experiences and emotions and stay connected to yourself - through the turbulence and blue skies alike.
You can’t control everything that will happen; there will inevitably be hard times, loss, challenges, growing pains, disappointment, frustrations. The key to happiness in the broader sense is understanding you have agency even during those times: checking in with how you are each day and then deciding what you need to manage it the way you need.
Setting your intention each day is NOT a To-Do list. It is a way for you to decide how you want or need to act or feel. It allows you to then use that intention to make choices. Rather than be hijacked by the day, you get to choose how you want to behave and feel. The more you realise you have this power, the more empowered you become!
It can be one word, it can be a mantra, it can be a manifesto or a woman warrior cry! It is the simply switching off default mode, and switching on your own GPS and deciding how to direct your energy, filter your brain towards and be responsive to your needs rather than reactive to all the external.
Your 5 a day
Another way to build happier habits is to set yourself consistent key intentions every day - because as we know, our lives are lived day by day. Your MidLife Daily 5 are your non-negotiable elements to every day, that ensure that not only are you getting the best out of each and every day - and therefore ultimately your life - but that your day brings the best out in you. Your days are full of feelings, emotions, responsibilities, roles, weather, events, people, places, thoughts, and what to make for the dinner. Always, what to make for the bloody dinner! So putting a framework on your day gives you some scaffolding amid the mayhem.
So these daily pillars cover 5 different elements of your day to keep it balanced and keep you connected to what’s important. They are
- Physical
- Emotional
- Mental
- Purpose
- Passion.
There is a reason I call these elements rather than specific actions. If you restrict your pillar to a specific action, and then for some reason you can’t do that action, you feel you’ve lost or failed that day. By opening it up to an element, it means you can replace the action, but keep the overriding ideal.
So mine for example are:
Move (physical), Nourish (emotional), Connect (mental), Learn (purpose), Create (passion).
These are the ones I have developed based on what’s importent to me and how I want my life to feel at this age and stage. Yours are likely to be different in some or many ways depending on what’s important to you and the way you want your life to feel.
So for example ‘Move’ is my physical element. That means every day I have to incorporate some level of movement and activity. If I restrict that to an activity like a run and I’ve hurt my leg or a child is home sick, I fail the goal. But under the element of ‘Movement’ I’m free to adapt to changing circumstances. I can dance for two songs or do a yoga class online. The key is to always act on the Element and then the actions relating to that can be a variety of things.
If you choose Music for example for your Passion element, that could be actioned in lots of ways - listening to music, writing, playing, gigs, podcasts, classes on any given day. If Peace is your Mental element, that could translate as a variety of actions such as meditation, journaling, walking, mindfulness, social media breaks, whatever actions on any given day that bring you that feeling of peace.
I hope you use your Daily 5 to really create the days, and ultimately the life, you want to be living.
Setting intentions
In the PlaySheet, set your intention today. Try and set it every day this week, as you look in the mirror in the morning or journal. Even do a habit hack… stick a Post It on your bedside table for when you wake up, or on your bathroom mirror for when you clean your teeth, or by your kettle while you make your first cuppa. Prompt yourself to set an intention for the day - based on how you feel and what you need (not on what you think is expected).
Your Daily 5
In the PlaySheet, flesh out your Daily 5. The reason I spread them out across 5 areas is to make sure you have a balanced approach to your day, covering all the parts that might need attention (remember to check in with your Week 1 happiness Audit). You can make this your own and decide for example you want two Passion elements instead of a Purpose, or two Mental elements instead of an Emotional. This is your life, but please make sure you do include a variety so your day feels balanced. The elements are the guiding principle so in your Playsheet brainstorm the ways that particular element might look as an action
If you choose Music for example for your Passion element, that could be actioned by listening to music, writing, playing, gigs, podcasts, classes. If Peace is your Mental element, that may be a variety of actions such as meditation, journaling, walking, mindfulness, social media breaks, whatever actions on any given day that bring you that feeling of peace.
Enjoy! I hope to see you on Wednesday…
- I'll be explaining a little more about intentions
- Help you work through your Daily 5
- We can discuss and share our intentions and Daily 5
I'll also be answering and questions you have!